Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
