I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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