So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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