I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
