cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
