Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
