I looked at my own cervix.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
