she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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