we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
