Well douche your snatch and let's go!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
