we're blogging at a bar
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The Olympian is in my bed
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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