somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
