Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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