I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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