I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
