I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
