hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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