sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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