she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
