Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
