did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
