i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
