i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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