Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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