Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
