On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
