im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
