Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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