ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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