I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
