We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
What a dumb baby whore.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
