Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
