Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
They have beer where we have blood.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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