I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
