I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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