dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
