How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Dicks are not precious.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
