people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
