3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize