Nicole vs. Life
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
