my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i out mim tonsoeep
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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