We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
