I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
