you guys were way drunker than both of me
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
