I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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