I think i sorta joined a cult last night
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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