the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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