So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
