the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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