i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
