Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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